Friday, September 10, 2010

Monday, June 14, 2010

New tricks from an Old Dog

Lately my pet human has been really tricksy. She's been stay up with her other human friends doing some strange ritual with a lot of little funny bits and pieces. I patiently waited for them to drop one so I could observe, but it tasted like tiny furniture. What's the fun of that? I was hoping it would be nummy nommies.

So she stays up late after playing and running us around during the day -- and she'll sometimes go to her bedroom and tricks Boba and me into thinking it's time for bedtime. We crawl into bed, only to find that she was just feeding the pee monster (I think she calls it a toy let, but doesn't look like a fun toy to me. It drools a lot too... a few times I tried to help feed the toy let but my pet yelled at me. I guess she didn't want me to have to worry about feeding it. There's been a few times I've worried about her -- when she spends a long time in there. When I try to keep her company or check in on her, she seems ok though...)

What was I talking about? Oh yea, we wait in bed only to hear her trying to breed sheep or trade wheat for them. She does that because I'm a lergic. A lergic means that you've become so superior to something that it literally HURTS to be around it. In my case I'm a lergic to wheat. I feel bad she has to stay up so late to get rid of the wheat for me. Humans are really weird. Boba and I don't want our human to get lonely though (she's soooooooo needy sometimes!) so we get our sleepyselves back to her. I figure we have to protect her anyways.

Anyways, tricking us into thinking it's bed time is still mean -- but I got some of my revenge yesterday. Let me explain.

I faked a limp. It's like instant pampering attention! I hobbled around like an old pup and worked like a charm. Next thing I'm getting attention -- how do you like that? They say you can't teach old dog new tricks -- this old dog can come up with his own tricks!!

It was so perfect until later she took us outside -- oh sweet outside aromas, I cannnot resist you! I had so much to pee on and I forgot my limp. I'm not sure if she was smart enough to notice (I think humans have very short attention spans unlike us doggies.) Maybe if she did notice though she just credited herself to my quick recovery. hehehehehehe!

All that said though, I still have a great human. She was talking about eating her friends last night and who she would kill first if she had to eat them for survival. I knew she liked meat but she was a little crazy sounding last night. I think it was my temporary Peruvian pet that was instigating that behavior. I'll have to keep a closer sniff on her. Anyways, when someone suggested eating Boba and Me (grrrrrrr!! grrrrr!!) my pet human would have none of that. Hrmph! The nerve. Not like they'd be able to eat us!! Boba and I practice our fighting everyday. I wanna see someone try and take us! (BARK BARK BARK!!) ooo a comfy bed to sleep on...

Congee out!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Cone of Shame

My pet is calling me Coney. I would be mad at her except I don't have much of an attention span and I

Friday, February 5, 2010

Best Boba Buddy

I know I look and act like a puppy -- but I'm also wise beyond my dog-years. While I'm often part of the nefarious duo also known as "Congee & Boba" I haven't always been part of a partner act. Before there was a Boba, there was just me, Congee. I know people are often curious whether I miss the spotlight and all the attention -- and maybe at first I had to adjust, but now I can't imagine my life without the dope. He is the he is the squeaky to my toy, the kibble to my bits, and the boba to my tea.

So, while this blog is about me -- I'd like to dedicate this post to my bestest-friend (I'm kind of an old man anyways, so it makes sense my best friend is a dog, right?.)

B is for Boba, my brother, my buddy. I can always depend on him. We're inseparable.
O is for Original, there's no one quite like Boba, and I don't expect him to be infallible.
B is for Bouncy, he's always happy and energetic, and totally unforgettable.
A is for Accomplice, cuz it's always more fun when you share the trouble.
L is for Licker, he does a weird grooming thing but I know L really is for lovable.
I is for Instigator, whether it's a fight or a fart he's mischievousness is inevitable.
C is for Cute, together we'll rule the world because we're both so damn adorable.
I is for Impish, his dance is playful and antics are impenetrable.
O is for Ostentation, cuz he'll wear those damn costumes when my pride makes me unable.
U is for Unique, there are no works to define Boba, he doesn't need a label.
S is for Scapegoat, cuz now I don't get all the blame when something goes wrong -- and who did it is unpredictable

But seriously, Boba did it.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Congee's Choice Chews

Hihowdoesthisthingwork? oh there's the space bar.

So first a bit about me: I'm kind of an old man trapped in a puppy trapped in a doggie's body. It's getting crowded in here! I found out my little brother Boba started a blog -- and I thought I'd try out this technology stuff. My human pets are always on this computer thing instead of playing with me -- and it's gotta be pretty cool to pass up playing with me. I'm adorable and fuzzy after all.

Besides, Boba probably got dropped on his head a few too many times as a puppy, he's -- well, endearing. Poor guy, I got the looks and the brains in the litter. I figured if that dope has stuff to write about, I'd be able to regale you with my thoughts, experiences, and opinions. That's why I'm making my first entry about stuff I like to put in my mouth.

  • Butter: I won't keep you in suspense saving the best for last. My all time favoritest thing in the world is BUTTER!! Its rich creamy and silky texture makes eating it so easy. It tastes so delicious! Strangely though, I tend to find this particular treat on the dining room table. I think my silly owners forget to put it on the floor for me -- but they are just human. Would I be less of a dog if I could not accept these flaws from them? But I digress. It's typically easy to jump up to the table and enjoy my butter. I prefer to savor it -- so instead of devouring it quickly, I will enjoy bit by bit by licking it gone! Try it sometime! I think it also makes my coat particularly soft and shiny.
  • Poop: For some reason, my pets think this is really gross. I think they don't get it. I keep trying to encourage them to try it sometime. I leave them my little presents for them but they are pretty daft. Once I left it right on top of one of the magazines they read -- but they just seemed upset. They store their poop in some loud water chair thing. Maybe that's when they eat it. Anyways, no two poops smell or taste quite the same. I suggest you allow it to aerate a bit to develop all the delectable dung delicacies and to create a craptacular conduction -- a cornucopia you will surely crave.
  • Lipstick: Whoever said this is just for women and pigs? Puppies love lipstick too! I find it much more effective to just eat the entire tube. I don't think smearing it over lips is a particularly effective way of eating lipstick, but that's what my humans like to do -- each to their own I suppose.
  • Retainers: Humans do a lot of weird things -- like use paper to wipe their butts instead of dragging it across the floor or shaking hands when they meet instead of properly smelling each others behinds to know "What's the haps?" This though, is one of the most brilliant things ever -- I know humans are pretty dirty -- but here's my dirty secret, their saliva is an amazing marinade! My human pet recently got Invisalign (maybe the name of this delicious doggy treat?) I think she was saving it for me for later -- but I smelled it and I couldn't resist! It isn't exactly food -- it's more like a tasty chew toy. Not like those gross rubbery or fuzzy bouncy balls -- this was something entirely different. I have to admit she looked kind of angry I found my present in her purse -- I felt bad for ruining the surprise -- but it was worth it! Might be even better next time if I let it marinade longer. mmm.
  • House of Prime Rib Rib: How could I forget this? This is so awesome. My humans will go to the Church of Prime rib and bring me back delicious bones to gnaw on -- man, they sure know how to make a pup smile. Hmm, all this talk of prime rib is making me hungry. I hear my tummy rumbling now! Time to check to see if there's a plate of butter for me out on the table!
Until next time

Congee out.